10 Life Lessons at 30

I’m a few days away from being the BIG 30 for an entire month! The most popular question I get now is “How does it feel?” and I literally say, “The same way I felt as 29”. I mean honestly you don’t wake up a brand-new person at 30; well at least I didn’t.

Preparing 2019 and the big birthday my honey and I decided we wanted to start it off by doing something new together. We went to Austin and went on our first trail hike. Besides it being something new I loved the experience because it was a genuine moment that pushed me to new limits in so many different ways. I experienced moments of free thinking and reflection while being able to bond with my partner in a way we haven’t before.

So, with the New Year started and my Big 30 over I decided to share 10 things “Life Lessons” I’ve mastered and some I’m still working on.

1. Never apologize for who you are.

There was a time I had a bad habit of apologizing to people for who I was; sounds crazy right. Believe it or not people do it all the time. If someone felt I was too aggressive when speaking my mind or standing up for myself I found myself apologizing. I’d apologize if something I wanted or needed seemed to be too difficult for others or even making simple mistakes. “I’m sorry” was in my vocabulary way too often. Honestly, I only stopped because I started annoying myself. WTF am I apologizing for? What seems difficult to some or even attitude may just myself being strong. As long as you aren’t being rude don’t apologize for you.

2. Family is everything!

Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows my family is a top priority in life. I will go above and beyond for my family. At the end of the day we are all human. We will make mistakes, and we may even hurt one another but most importantly your family will be there in the end to support you. A key to this is “Family is what you make it”. Everyone isn’t born into an awesome family that is supportive and loving. It’s only if your “blood” family doesn’t supply you with positive support. Find and connect with people in life you can call your family and once you do LOVE THEM. I’ve learned from young age that loss is a part of life; its apart of being human. Enjoy and love on your family. Try to find space in your heart to forgive or apologize. Your bloodline won’t change so try to leave behind a legacy of love.

3. Friends will come and go.

Some of us are lucky enough to find a core group of people we call friends and we build great relationships with from childhood until you grow old; but that is not always the case. In my honest opinion if it wasn’t for social media many of the people who claim me as a friend, we probably wouldn’t have a relationship without it; that’s a harsh reality. One summer in high school I did my norm and spent the time out of school at my dad’s with my siblings. I remember one day I was upset because I was there instead of being “cool” and hanging out with my friends from school. My dad’s exact words were “those lil friends won’t be there for you in 10 years but your lil sister and brothers will” and he was right. Without a doubt if I call on my siblings for ANYTHING they come through or try their best, sadly I can’t say the same for many “friends”. The length of a “friendship” does not determine the bond. There will be people you meet and know for a short period of time who support you more than people you may have known for years. Don’t take it personal some people aren’t “for you”.

4. Learn to forgive.

People will hurt, disappoint, offend and even disrespect you there’s no way around it. There was a time when I was proud of being able to hold a grudge. I would brag on being mad at a person for months until one of the church services I attended touched on forgiveness. Being mad at a person doesn’t do anything but cause you to use unnecessary energy. The chances are the person you’re mad at isn’t even thinking about the fact that your upset or may not even know the issue. Forgiving someone isn’t for them but for you! If a relationship is important to you take the first step to fixing the issue sometimes taking the first step is all you need .

5. There is no timeline for life!

This by far was the biggest life lesson for me to learn and its shown to be even harder to deal with because of social media. There is no correct written timeline with instructions on how your life’s path should go. People will meet different life milestones before and after you. For me it was hard to watch people I graduated high school with graduate college on time; I was 29 when I finished college. Many of my close friends have just started having kids or haven’t yet; I had my daughter when I was 24 and it has been the greatest thing ever. So, it doesn’t matter your age it doesn’t matter when people think you should have done something. Follow your own timeline, want to go back to school then go, you want to start that new business you do it, move out of town, take your dream job, or have a baby it’s your life. Don’t let the early success for others deter you from your own. At the end of the day your life plan is not the same as others so don’t be envious or jealous if someone has accomplished something on your list it should motivate you more!

6. Your job is not your life!

In America 6.02% of adults own a business as their main source of income, meaning the majority of Americans are putting their efforts and energy into someone else’s success; myself included. For many of us after years of being with a company these jobs become our lives and what I’ve come to learn is “A job is a job; nothing more nothing less”. I’m not saying don’t care or be passionate about what you do because you should thrive to find a career that makes you happy BUT do not put more energy and time into your career than you do your own life, yourself and your family. So many of us have this self-inflicted guilt that happens when we take vacations or need days off from work because we don’t want to be needed and not available. We feel something may go wrong without you there. The point of vacation is to take a break from the stress and worry from your job. It’s okay to make mistakes at work, it’s okay to take days off. One thing I’ve learned is believe it or not you are dispensable. As much as you feel you are needed at any point you can be replaced and you can do the same.

7. Real love is hard work

A misconception taught when it comes to love is that as long as you have real love a relationship will be easy; biggest lie ever told. Real love is hard because it’s a choice you make to love a person UNCONDITIONALLY. When you decide to love a person in this way you decide to forgive then when needed, accept who they are knowing they aren’t perfect, help them grow into a better person and learning from them at he same time. Experiencing real love is knowing you have to practice patience, you don’t hold on to wrongdoings, you keep faith in your partner and provide a sense of protection when it comes to their insecurities. Most importantly love does not end; sometimes it is easy and sometimes it will be hard but the choice is yours on how you will handle the hardships in your relationship.

8. Be kind

I know it sounds cliche and its something we start to learn at an early age but being kind can go a long way. Randomly performing acts of kindness will not only help someone else but it can make you feel better about yourself. Do a favor you don’t want to do, you could end up enjoying time with someone you love that you usually don’t get. If you believe in karma than you know kindness comes back round. It may not be right away but in the future it will be returned. Lastly, our society at the moment seems to be lacking heavily in human kindness and we can only change that by changing ourselves. Remember a smile is contagious!

9. There is no one like you!

There is no one else in the world that is like you; so don’t try to be someone else. Live in your truth and you will never be fulfilled plus trying to be someone else can be exhausting. Focus on whom you want to be as a person without comparing yourself to others. Being yourself can also help you find focus and direction in your life. Living as you are will help you along a path that will help accomplish your goals. The more you conform to other’s exceptions the less likely you are to the things you want in life.

10. Your failure does not mean stop and your success does not mean the end.

For most failure is hard to deal with and can cause us to lose confidence and give up but you shouldn’t. So many people fail hundreds of times before accomplishing their goal. Failing should make you dig deeper and push harder, it should make you stronger and more driven. Last but not least with failure comes certain lessons that could go unlearned from success. Gaining success should not be the end of hard work. Once you’ve reached a level of success you are comfortable with you should be striving to not only maintain but reach new levels. Imagine how far you can go if you never stop learning, never stop working and never stop striving for greatness.